I’ve hit a dry spell! I was posting new recipes constantly on the old blog and it seemed like I couldn’t make and post them fast enough sometimes! However, I’ve barely posted any food yet on this blog besides things I reposted from the old site….this is not me giving up on your taste buds. This is not me feeling uninspired, and this is definitely not a sign that I quit making food! ;)
In the past month I have tried several things that just don’t live up to my standard. Period. I don’t post a recipe unless I LOVE it! That is how you guys trust me when I say something tastes amazing! So, like a school kid that is feeling like they have to justify what they have been doing with nothing to show for it….

I tried lemon ginger coconut milk ice cream. This was amazing in my mind! However, the crystallized ginger didn’t keep its texture and the coconut milk I bought a case of (because there are no fillers and it is in a bpa free can) leaves things sort of grainy. I ate it…but would be lying if I told you it was amazing.

I tried scones. TWICE. I made a lemon blueberry scone. It was crumbly and dry and not that good. So, I switched somethings up and decided to make pistachio lemon ginger. You are seeing a trend in my flavor desires lately! They were okay…but I felt like I needed a drink every time I took a bite. So, not now.

I tried a new chocolate chip cookie recipe. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. I took the recipe from Against All Grain and tweaked it to have browned butter. In my mind, I was thinking about these toffee flavored discs of goodness. But, the texture came out more like muffin tops, and to me, that’s not a cookie! So, back to the drawing board.

I haven’t given up. Patience will bring us amazing food because now I’m determined!

Two things happen when I have had a lot going on:

1. I lose time and energy to blog.

2. I have so much to blog about because I have so much to think about!

Depending on how in depth my patient cases are, I can spend hours working on things to help them restore their health. When a patient’s emotions are running high, it turns up the heat in my kitchen! When they are going through the mental and emotional roller coaster of drastic life change, it always gives me things to think about. I don’t think I am ever “not” thinking. Blessing or a curse….
I have been watching the show occasionally called “Black Box.” I find comfort in watching doctors work that toe the crazy line because I sort of relate! It’s like “House” in a sense. He may have been crazy, but he was darn good at what he did, and sometimes his work took over his life….the hallmark of borderline crazy, I suppose. Anyway, this show is about a psychiatrist that works with complex mental patients. She is bipolar herself. In the first few episodes, she battles what to do when she must choose between taking medications to “level out” her moods, which leaves her numb to the world. OR, she can choose to ride the highs and lows because her highs send her into the most magnificent, brilliant, passionate place when it comes to work.

This made me think about a lot of people that have been so influential in history when it comes to art, politics, music, medicine, etc. Where would we be without the borderline crazy?
This makes me ask the next question. If these individuals were able to accomplish the unimaginable because of a slight imbalance, would they take meds to level themselves out if they had the choice?
So much of my work is about people’s hormones and body chemistry. Do you know how much of your personality comes from those things?! Are you heavy on testosterone? Then you are probably more confident, strong, driven, and sexual. What if that was also the reason you were more snippy with your spouse and had oily skin? What if balancing out your hormones also meant that your personality was different. Part of what made you great at the gym or the boardroom is no longer a part of you?

What if you are heavy on estrogen? You probably have a larger chest, smoother skin, more nurturing tendencies and show more emotion. This may also mean you are constantly battling body issues and crying spells! What if balancing out your hormones meant you lost some body fat which meant boobs, as well. What if it meant that you didn’t have the same glow?
What if your “imperfections” are a part of what makes you great? What if your “handicaps” provide you the perfect opportunity to change the world? What if you are not who you would be if you changed everything you thought was “wrong” with you?

Embrace what makes you you. Sometimes imperfections are the best part.

I sort of feel like this post may turn into a confessional. Oh man. No judgments please. ;) If you have followed my blog from ATC, you know that I went on vacation back in November. That’s where it all started….

My intention was to workout in Denver at a Crossfit gym. That didn’t happen, and I was ok with that. No one wants to be the person who leaves their friends to go do something no one else wants to do! There goes a week.

The next week was Thanksgiving…definitely didn’t hit my normal schedule.
Back to the gym the next week=no lung capacity. How does your metabolic capacity go away so quickly?! I felt like my lungs were starting over! However, my lifting was still up to par. Not too shabby.

A couple weeks later, sick. You can’t work out when you can’t breathe! A few weeks off from sickness, then it was Christmas/New Years. Ugh. Schedule too crazy to want to make it work.
By this time, I’m looking at 2 months of essentially no training. Now I’m a weakling! No lungs AND no strength. Humbling….

I hate the cold! I hate when it’s dark at 5! So here’s the confession. It’s not like I was trying to preserve beastmode anymore! I am lucky if I went 2 times a week for a good couple months.
The open. Say what?! Those workouts WERE NOT made for someone so outta shape! I died!
Open is over…now I just need to get back on track. No biggie. EXCEPT. I am back to every part of my body being sore after workouts, lifting 75% of the weight I used to, and having my lungs stop working about 6 minutes into every workout.

There you have it. Now everyone at the gym that wonders why I don’t seem like the same Angela in workouts (I think they’ve quit wondering now that its been months!), that’s why. Take a few months off….you’re back to newbie status. It has heightened my appreciation for what new people experience, that’s for sure. I will be back again soon….it’s just going to take some work. I’m officially part of the “has been” club!