The Day I Woke Up Sad

Today is Saturday, January 28th.  I woke up sad.  I started thinking to myself “Why are you sad?”  You know how you have those conversations in your head?  Since I asked the question, I started to think about all the things that would make me sad:

I miss my dogs
I miss my friends
I am so busy I can barely breathe and I hate that feeling
I don’t have time to exercise anymore, which annoys me A LOT
I left a lot of people I care about back in Indiana

All these thoughts that happen within a 10 second span start making me say “Did I make a mistake coming to Chicago?”

Then Dr. Angela chimes in and reminds me of all the reasons I made the decision in the first place and all the great things that have happened in 3 short months:

I finished my final semester teaching at the college, which was very bittersweet
I started working with a team/company with the same vision on such a huge scale, which is so powerful when you’re used to do doing it “alone”
Me leaving opened a door of opportunity to help someone else fill their dream of wellness and health coaching, and so many amazing things have happened for my new health coach
I was able to come up with an awesome system to keep my practice open and develop even more tools for patients
With the new company, I created an in-office education tool for doctors to use which includes a poster, a trifold, and a digital newsletter helping patients learn about their immune disorders and options for healing (being released soon!)
I met new friends and traveled to Peru with them!
I have proposed some new product formulations and education tools for the company that could make a huge impact in the health industry
I have finished 3 books for the patient library
I have read so much research that I can barely keep up with everything I want to share!
I have been able to be home for all the holidays and had an amazing time with everyone
I am finishing up the first online class of 2017 over anxiety and depression (stay tuned for more classes to come!)
I am leaving for Austin shortly to attend the Institute for Functional Medicine Immune Module, which is a conference that I’m super excited about


I’m still working to find balance and a new gym family, but that takes a little time. Then I ask myself “Would you give up all those things to go back?”  and the answer is “Not a chance.”

I have just skimmed the surface of the exciting things that I want to accomplish, the people I can touch, and the tools I can provide other doctors. I still love everyone and everything back in IN, too. I think it’s normal after big life decisions to question whether or not you made good choices.  However, when you think about all the opportunities and positive moments that change has provided, there’s a solid reminder of how amazing things are still to come AND how amazing your life has been up to that point.  If it wasn’t amazing, I wouldn’t be sad and miss it at all.  Everything in life goes in cycles of acquiring and letting go.  Letting go isn’t easy, and maybe that’s because we  see it as giving it up.  I choose to look at it a little differently.  I haven’t given it up, I have allowed myself and those parts of my life to evolve.  They look different now, and now they are in the company of additional amazing things. I still have all my family, friends, and a successful practice. Now I have an amazing position in a company that supports my vision, more friends, and exciting travel memories, too.

I’m still sad today. But I would call it a good sad.  I’ll allow myself to miss some of the great parts of my life that I experience less often since the change.  It’s not because I gave up on them; it’s because I let them evolve.  Tomorrow I will wake up excited for Austin, excited for my next trip back to Elkhart (which is so soon!), and excited for all the things I get to work on in the year to come.  For all those people that are part of my Elkhart story that may be reading this, I was missin’ you guys like crazy today!

For those of you that were part of my gym family, you may recognize the quote from the girl’s bathroom.  I read that quote every time I was at the gym, and it never left me. ;)

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